Tuesday's thoughts

A couple random thoughts:

First, I think subconsciously me and the little man are one and the same. I dress him in green, without thinking I dress myself in green-- in fact this happens multiple times a week, sometimes it's slightly embarrassing when I realize how much we match (i've never been too fond of those "mommy and me" matching outfits!). When he's cranky, I'm cranky. When I'm happy and energetic he seems to laugh more and not be so fussy. On nights that he doesn't sleep well, I can't fall back to sleep even when he's zonked out. When his diaper explodes, my...OK, maybe that's where the similarities stop!

Second, why do I always stress so much over things that always seem to work out in the end? When I was in school I'd stress and cry about certain tests coming up or classes that I was "definitely" going to fail, but when it came to crunch time I'd usually get 102% on the test and, well, the only two A-'s I've ever gotten were at BYU (not parasitology or O-chem but choral conducting and sociology--and I'm still bitter that those two grades were entirely based on very subjective finals!). It's easy to look back and tell myself I shouldn't have stressed so much, especially since my high school 4.0 and my BYU 3.99 mean nada now. My biggest regrets from both HS and college are than I didn't relax and just enjoy the moment.

But I still stress over the little stuff on a daily basis. Like this piano thing last week, I was so nervous that I neglected pretty much everything to practice for hours, and it turns out I was way more prepared than the kids whom this recital was actually for! I stress over my messy house. Or whether I should just toss the poop-stained onesies or try another round of oxiclean. Or the fact that I love Progresso soups and I just found out it has MSG and I ate it constantly all through my pregnancy and now I'm sure I've ruined mykids hope for a healthy future (I know, I'm being dramatic but still there are SO many things to stress about when it comes to healthy living).

I need to learn to just relax and relinquish my control. There are just too many things to worry about. And if I die a few years earlier because I eat Progresso soup and way too much sugar, well at least I enjoyed the time I had. And I'd bet ya that stress is much more lethal than a not-so-perfect diet.

So here's to no stress, eating ice cream for breakfast, and being happy in my messy house!

Lastly, this kid was such a trooper last week. Since he still doesn't move much I would put him in his bumbo seat on the piano bench while I practiced (I had pillows all over the ground, just in case!). After a while he'd get tired of it, but it was so funny to watch him bob his head to the music. BEWARE--If you play the video you might want to turn your volume down, it's kinda loud!